Indifference: The Journey to Inspiration

Dialectical Behavior Therapy - States of Mind

Am I really indifferent?  Or is it lack of energy?  Maybe it is lack of motivation?  I know I want better, but taking any steps seems so daunting.  Just thinking of taking steps quickly converts to thoughts of what difference does it make, I'm just going through the motions. My Reasonable Mind says, “Look around, you have purpose.  Look at the areas of growth…what is your problem, you are so blessed.” And so goes the positive brain chatter; it’s trying to give me a pep talk.  My Emotion Mind tells me to face reality.  The reality is that I am an example of the walking dead.  The outward shell hides the decay taking place inside, the cancer of indifference that just doesn’t give a care.  Emotion Mind knows it is all an exhausting, overwhelming waste of time.  What I like about Emotion Mind is that it tells the truth about how I am feeling without the hype Reasonable Mind tries to use like a filter… a sunshine filter. Put in the filter all the indifference, or whatever it is, and out pops sunshine and rainbows.  If only it were that easy.  If it were that easy, I would quickly get a patent and a trademark for that filter. As you probably have guessed, it is my Emotion Mind that speaks the loudest.  Though I do not understand how I can be indifferent and have my Emotion Mind so vocal.  Am I indifferent or have I been sitting in the congregation of mediocre too long.  Hey, at least I am no longer sitting in the morgue.  Sure, I am not in the morgue, but I am non the less content with mediocre. With that thought I smile, Reasonable Mind and Emotion Mind meet in agreement on something. Perhaps the meeting of two states of mind is where Wise Mind jumps in and takes hold.  Thank God for Wise Mind.  If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him (James 1:5 KJV). It is Wise Mind that offers cheerleading statements to Reasonable Mind and validates the feeling of indifference for Emotion Mind.  My Wise Mind knows that living is not for the weak.  So when I am weak, He gives me strength; I smile because His strength is perfect when my Emotion Mind has no strength. Emotion Mind, you speak the loudest and most frequent.  BUT, it is you Wise Mind who is the strongest.  When in my Wise Mind, I ignore neither my Reasonable Mind nor my Emotion Mind.  How can I overcome obstacles, or maximize my strengths, or seek help in weakness, if I ignore the indifference. Today, I label it indifference.  Indifference: lack of concern or interest, apathy.


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